My younger daughter had a bit of a meltdown the other day after she'd been plugging away at something for months without results. She was frustrated and overwhelmed and fed up, and after I had helped to her make a little progress, I asked how she was feeling. "I don't feel so alone now," she said.

As a mom, that was a bit of a gut punch, but the coach in me was interested. I had a follow-up question: why hadn't she asked for help?

The answer stunned me. "Because I'm a grown-up, and I should be doing this myself," she said.

The more I thought about that, the more I thought – isn't that the way so many of us think? We're adults now; we should be able to solve all our own problems. And in any Westernised country, that notion is reinforced by the very individualised way our society is set up.

In African terms, what we've forgotten about is that we aren't alone; we aren't islands. We've forgotten about our village. 

The thing with a village, is that it's not just for raising children. It has major benefits for adults too – like sharing the load, playing to the strengths of different people, and mutual support. When we try to do everything ourselves, solve everything ourselves, we miss out on those benefits. 

In fact, I'd go so far as to say that asking for help is a supremely adult skill to learn.

Asking for help strengthens your relationships, because it's a way of demonstrating your own vulnerability, and that gives other people tacit permission to be vulnerable around you. 

It also strengthens your community, because you start to set up a kind of virtual cycle. People can play to their strengths. They can boost their own confidence and self-esteem by being able to do something for someone else. 

And, of course, you get the actual help. You get to knock one more thing off that laundry list of "How am I going to fix this?" that keeps you awake more nights than you would ever admit to someone else.

Finally, asking for help is not an act of weakness. It's an act of courage. It's an act of community. It's an act of connection.

So the next time you find yourself struggling alone with something, remember: you don't have to feel so alone. Asking for help doesn't make you less of an adult – it makes you more human. And in a world that often feels disconnected, that's exactly what we all need more of.

Simply put, your village is waiting. All you have to do is ask.