Many years ago, I sat in front of a life coach and sobbed for the entire session. For several sessions thereafter, I think, I sobbed. Burnout will do that to you.

As part of my burnout recovery, I had to learn to ask for help, and it was a life-changing skill, but I have also started to realise that learning to receive help is just as important.

I spent time this weekend with someone who doesn't know how to receive help. Not only are they determined to assert their independence at every turn, but they see help as being reciprocal, almost transactional in nature. Accepting help, in their view, is a kind of weakness.

What I've come to understand, however – both personally and as a life coach – is that this mindset creates a prison of self-sufficiency. When we cannot receive help without immediately calculating how to repay it, we rob ourselves and others of the genuine connection that comes from freely given support.

The truth is that receiving help gracefully requires a fair amount of strength – the strength to be vulnerable, to acknowledge our limitations, and to allow others the joy of contributing to our lives.

It's not about taking advantage or becoming dependent; it's about participating in the natural flow of giving and receiving that sustains healthy friendships, healthy families, healthy communities.

Learning to receive isn't passive. It's an active practice that involves:

• Recognising when help would genuinely benefit you
• Setting aside your ego and pride to accept support
• Expressing gratitude without immediately rushing to “balance the scales”
• Trusting that your worth isn't diminished by needing assistance

When we refuse help or insist on immediate repayment, we exhaust not only ourselves, but those around us who genuinely want to support us. We send the message that their care must be earned rather than freely exchanged.

What might happen if you allowed yourself to receive without immediately planning how to reciprocate? How might your relationships deepen if you permitted others the gift of giving without the burden of keeping score?

Perhaps you were raised with the idea that it's more blessed to give than to receive. But does that mean you should never receive? Of course not. The words “more blessed” imply that receiving is blessed too.

So that's what I'm here to tell you – that it's okay to say yes when someone else wants to help you, and the help being offered is genuinely helpful. (I realise not all help offered is necessarily so.) It's okay to accept that help and not feel like you immediately need to rush to do something for them.

Firstly, the time may well roll around when they need help from you, and if all else fails, you can always pay it forward and help someone else in a similar way.

But say yes – even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Notice what thoughts and feelings come up for you. Be curious about them and where they might originate.

Learning to do this might be uncomfortable, especially at first, but that discomfort might just be the growing edge of a new kind of strength – one that allows for true interdependence rather than exhausting independence.

Besides, when you allow someone else to give to you,  you're actually giving them something valuable – the chance to experience the joy and satisfaction that comes from making a difference. Plus, you create an opportunity for both of you to grow.

I'm curious: what makes it difficult for you to receive help without feeling the need to immediately repay it? What one small step could you take this week to practice receiving with grace? I'd love to hear from you.